Monday, December 8, 2014

Hold the presses. Hold the Mayo!

Can a boy do a mann's job? Not without a fight.

Never before has mayo—and the manifestly philosophical quandary of what is and isn’t mayo—been such trending news.

Surely you’ve heard about this. Call it the mayo wars. Or maybe it’s a David v. Goliath story, one of Big Mayo against a lilliputian “maybe” mayo.


In this corner, we have Just Mayo,  a Bay Area condiment upstart/startup, producing a sandwich spread that looks like mayo, purports to taste like mayo...but lacking eggs, it begs the existential question - Is it really mayo?

And in that corner, Hellmann’s, the mayo-magnate division of food giant Unilever. They’ve filed suit against Just Mayo’s parent company Hampton Creek, taking issue with nothing less than the condiment’s very name. If it doesn’t contain eggs, says Unilever, citing the FDA’s definition of mayonnaise’s proper ingredients...then Just mayo just ain’t mayo.

So what do we have here? At first glance we might have a corporation, a familiar brand, standing up for truth in food labeling—a boon for us all.

And we also might have a bit of self-preservation, certainly not a bad thing. A Unilever spokesman, commenting on the suit in early November, frankly admitted the case was not just about protecting the consumer, but “also our brand.” Hellmann’s is the #1 mayonnaise on the supermarket shelf, and there’s an argument to be made that Hellmann’s has a right to protect itself when a competitor enters its market with a fundamentally different product.

But hold that mayo. We’re willing to ask the questions that Unilever should have, but evidently didn’t, before they called in the lawyers.

First: does the truth-in-labeling argument hold water? From a legal perspective, sure it does. But no rational observer really thinks that Hampton Creek was trying to pull the wool over consumers’ eyes. Just Mayo lacks eggs because eggs tend to turn your arteries into pointy little sticks. Some folks don’t want that as a side-effect from their sandwich spreads. Other folks don’t worry about it, and will probably keep buying Hellman’s. But neither group is going to rush to thank Unilever for defending the cholestoral-centric definition of mayonnaise. Not a bit of p.r. cred will be had there.

And protecting their brand? We’ve always been the first to argue that a brand is the most precious of assets, and needs to be protected accordingly. But we also know that one must choose one’s battles carefully. So swatting that Just Mayo fly with a corporate-sized sledgehammer—is it worth it?

Before Unilever sued, we’d never heard of Just Mayo. Had you?

If Unilever wins, then Just Mayo changes its name. Maybe...Almost Mayo...or Just Mayo Minus Heart Disease—there are plenty of options (Hampton Creek: Call Us!). But in any case, the legal headache will go away. And in its aftermath? Just Mayo has received more free advertising than they could ever have hoped for.

Seems like Unilever just didn’t think this one through. We predict they’ll find themselves in the pyrrhic position of winning their lawsuit, but still getting egg all over their face.

The C4:
1.  Just the facts: according to the Food and Drug Administration mayonnaise must include “egg yolk-containing ingredients.” Just Mayo is made from canola oil, vinegar, and lemon juice. If you want to make the argument that Just Mayo isn’t, in fact, mayo...well, you’ll get no argument from us.
2.  Likewise, we got your back when you say you need to protect your brand. Business ain’t tiddlywinks. You’ve got to use every tool at your disposal (you’ve got to break some eggs, you might say) to keep your brand profitable.
3. Oh, but you’ve got to pick your battles, man. Do we really need to tell you that? Didn’t Old Mother Hellmann’s teach you that when you but a wee little jar?
4. Hampton Creek/Just Mayo are in the unique position of being very lucky to get sued. Unilever/Hellmann’s has pretty much turned Just Mayo into a household name. Don’t want to say this but we can’t seem to stop...Looks like the yolk is on them.